Self Esteem

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Self Esteem

Anna Lambe
Iqaluit, Nunavut

Anna shares her story about being bullied in school and learning how to overcome anxiety and build her self esteem.

Please note, this video contains talk about bullying and eating disorders. If you or anyone you know is dealing with issues discussed in this video, please know you are not alone and that there are people who are out there that are willing to listen and help.

Tips & Tricks

5 Ways to Build Lasting Self Esteem

1. Use positive affirmations correctly
Positive affirmations such as “I am going to be a great success!” are extremely popular, but they have one critical problem — they tend to make people with low self-worth feel worse about themselves. Why? Because when our self-esteem is low, such declarations are simply too contrary to our existing beliefs. Ironically, positive affirmations do work for one subset of people — those whose self-esteem is already high. For affirmations to work when your self-esteem is lagging, tweak them to make them more believable. For example, change “I’m going to be a great success!” to “I’m going to persevere until I succeed!”
from: https://ideas.ted.com/5-ways-to-build-lasting-self-esteem/



5 Ways to Build Lasting Self Esteem

2. Identify your competencies and develop them
Self-esteem is built by demonstrating real ability and achievement in areas of our lives that matter to us. If you pride yourself on being a good cook, throw more dinner parties. If you’re a good runner, sign up for races and train for them. In short, figure out your core competencies and find opportunities and careers that accentuate them.
from: https://ideas.ted.com/5-ways-to-build-lasting-self-esteem/

5 Ways to Build Lasting Self Esteem

3. Learn to accept compliments

One of the trickiest aspects of improving self-esteem is that when we feel bad about ourselves we tend to be more resistant to compliments — even though that is when we most need them. So, set yourself the goal to tolerate compliments when you receive them, even if they make you uncomfortable (and they will). The best way to avoid the reflexive reactions of batting away compliments is to prepare simple set responses and train yourself to use them automatically whenever you get good feedback (e.g., “Thank you” or “How kind of you to say”). In time, the impulse to deny or rebuff compliments will fade — which will also be a nice indication your self-esteem is getting stronger.
from: https://ideas.ted.com/5-ways-to-build-lasting-self-esteem/

5 Ways to Build Lasting Self Esteem

4. Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion
Unfortunately, when our self-esteem is low, we are likely to damage it even further by being self-critical. Since our goal is to enhance our self-esteem, we need to substitute self-criticism (which is almost always entirely useless, even if it feels compelling) with self-compassion. Specifically, whenever your self-critical inner monologue kicks in, ask yourself what you would say to a dear friend if they were in your situation (we tend to be much more compassionate to friends than we are to ourselves) and direct those comments to yourself. Doing so will avoid damaging your self-esteem further with critical thoughts, and help build it up instead.
from: https://ideas.ted.com/5-ways-to-build-lasting-self-esteem/

5 Ways to Build Lasting Self Esteem

5. Affirm your real worth
The following exercise has been demonstrated to help revive your self-esteem after it sustained a blow: Make a list of qualities you have that are meaningful in the specific context. For example, if you got rejected by your date, list qualities that make you a good relationship prospect (for example, being loyal or emotionally available); if you failed to get a work promotion, list qualities that make you a valuable employee (you have a strong work ethic or are responsible). Then choose one of the items on your list and write a brief essay (one to two paragraphs) about why the quality is valuable and likely to be appreciated by other people in the future. Do the exercise every day for a week or whenever you need a self-esteem boost.
The bottom line is improving self-esteem requires a bit of work, as it involves developing and maintaining healthier emotional habits but doing so, and especially doing so correctly, will provide a great emotional and psychological return on your investment.
from: https://ideas.ted.com/5-ways-to-build-lasting-self-esteem/

Tools & Resources

How to Build Your Self-Esteem

Try these steps:

  • Make a list of the stuff you're good at. Can you draw or sing? Are you a good reader? Are you good at a sport? Do you tell a good joke? If you're having trouble with your list, ask a parent or friend to help you with it.
  • Practice the things you do well. Think of ways you can do some of the things you're good at every day. 
  • Turn "I can't" into "I can!" Does the little voice in your head tell you "I'm no good at this" or "I can't do it"? Or "It's too hard for me"? That's you thinking badly about yourself. Decide to change your mind. Think, "I can give it a try," "I can handle this." Think, "I'll give it my best." Think, "I'll ask someone to help me do this."
  • Try your best. You can feel good about yourself when you give something a good try. When you try hard, your self-esteem will grow.
  • Spend time with people who love you. Do things you enjoy with your parent or family. It helps you know you belong. And that builds self-esteem.
  • Pitch in. Do nice things for parents. Help with meals, clean up, or feed the pet. When you do kind things, you feel good about yourself. You get to see that what you do means a lot.

from: Self Esteem


 







Examples of Affirmations

By definition, your affirmation will be personal to you, and specific to what you want to achieve or change, but the following examples may provide some inspiration:

  • I have plenty of creativity for this project.
  • My work will be recognized in a positive way by my boss and colleagues.
  • I can do this!
  • My team respects and values my opinion.
  • I am successful.
  • I am honest in my life, and my work.
  • I like completing tasks and projects on time.
  • I'm grateful for the job I have.
  • I enjoy working with my team.
  • I'm bringing a positive attitude to work every day.
  • I am excellent at what I do.
  • I am generous.
  • I am happy.
  • I will be a leader in my organization.

Affirmations article

Tips For Improving Your Self Esteem

1. Be nice to yourself, stop your inner critic
2. You do you, stop comparing yourself to others
3. Get movin'
4. Nobody's perfect
5. Remember that everyone makes mistakes
6. Focus on what you can change
7. Do what makes you happy
8. Celebrate the small stuff
9. Be a pal
10. Surround yourself with a supportive squad

For more information check out these articles:
10 tips for improving your self esteem | Confidence

How to Improve Your Self-Esteem: 12 Powerful Tips


Realizing Your Hidden Power

"Research has shown that over 80% of people struggle with varying levels of low self-esteem. Yet, having a solid sense of self-esteem has the chance to positively impact and powerfully transform every area of your life – from your relationships to your career, from your health and well-being, to your fulfillment and levels of success.
A deep feeling of self-esteem is something that needs to grow and be nurtured over time. The following will show you the things you can do right now to improve your self esteem. Then, you will realize your hidden potential and your self worth."

How to Build Self Esteem (A Guide to Realize Your Hidden Power)